Bus People

I've pretty much decided that I enjoy riding the bus. Not only is it an opportunity to get where I need to go for free, but it's often darn entertaining. Forget TV, ride the bus. What is so funny about the bus, you ask? Well, for starts, you often see the same people at their appointed times at their appointed stops early in the morning. There's nothing quite as funny as seeing people who obviously just rolled out of bed (complete with pajama pants in some cases) right alongside the classy business people and the slightly insane characters. For example, this morning riding the bus to class I saw some of my favorite bus people: 1. Disheveled Dude: This is the guy who rolls out of bed and onto the bus. His hair is sticking up in odd places, he's put a jacket on over his pajamas and spends most of the trip nodding over his backpack. 2. Classy Lady: When I am about 65, this is what I want to look like. She comes onto the bus with a different elegant outfit every day, but the same sunglasses on her head. Her face is wrinkled in the right places and she always lets everyone else get off before her while she smiles her crinkly smile. 3. Head Nodder: This ancient lady has a turtle backpack, a head that is constantly moving spasmodically, and a mouth that really sneers. She also mutters to herself almost continually and will often get up and move to a different seat several times during the ride. I'm a bit afraid of her, but there's something about a really old, really odd lady having a turtle backpack that makes my heart twinge. 4. Thankyouyouhaveaniceday: Really skinny woman who gets off the bus shortly after I get on, and every day she says the same thing, really loudly. She's fond of leather jackets and used to have a bunch of people who rode with her everyday who were just as loud, but I haven't seen any of her pals lately. 5. Monotone: Another old lady who talks to herself. However, she's more disconcerting because she doesn't mumble. It took me a while to figure out she was talking to herself and not to someone else on the bus. She speaks to herself in a monotone, but it's perfectly audible. She doesn't make eye contact. Ever. 6. Pop Can Guys: Two old men who collect cans and take them to Kroger together. They have pretty funny conversations sometimes. I think they've known each other a long time. 7. Mr. Wandering Eye: This guy cracks me up, I've only seen him once or twice, but he is one of those guys who will start a conversation about the most personal things with a perfect stranger. I've never been the conversant, but I do get to hear it. He's over forty years old, he's got a "pretty good woman" right now who wants to marry him, but he's not going to get married until he's sixty. He's got a "wandering eye, there are so many pretty women" and he's just not ready for commitment. I have to say, if you're over forty and not ready for commitment, I don't think you're ever going to be ready. For added humor/horror, he got up to leave and I noticed that the seat of his pants was cut down the middle and one of his whitey-tighty cheeks was very much exposed. Oh dear. Those are my favorite characters, but believe me, there are more. Next time you're bored, ride the bus.