Labor and Life with a Baby

So, this is rather long overdue, but now I should have more time to post a little more often. I started working again, but currently am between projects, so my two hours in the morning is mostly free to do other things while staying available by phone in case a client calls. With that explanation out of the way, without further ado, here is a faithful narrative of my labor experience:

I started having contractions on Sunday night after Mass but they were super irregular and not really that painful. They kept going all day Monday and were slowly getting more painful, but I was determined to make it to book club, since we were planning to go out for dessert. I did make it to book club, but had to pause periodically and deal with contractions. I got a huge brownie concoction – it was delicious, and the last thing I ate before labor, which was something the nurse asked once I got there.

After book club, I dealt with the contractions at home for a bit, but they weren’t really coming any faster or more consistently. Jonathan thought I might like a distraction, so we went to Meijer to buy Baileys and Corona for after the baby (good man, my husband!) as well as walk around to hopefully speed labor. Well, it worked like a charm. Almost as soon as we got to Meijer, the contractions sped up and became more regular. We were there for probably an hour and a half, with me ducking into side aisles every few minutes to have contractions while pretending to look at something on the shelf. After we got home from Meijer, Jonathan called up our doctor who said to go ahead and come in to the hospital.

We checked in to the hospital around 2:30 and found out I was 4 centimeters dilated and 100% effaced. They hooked me up to this cool monitor that measured contractions and Maria’s movements and heart rate. Maria did end up showing some signs of distress with her heart rate plunging at one point, so I was hooked up to the monitor for all of labor. Anyhow, I got checked into a room, my mom came and we met the nurse. The next several hours were just dealing with the awful contractions. I guess I had “back labor” which meant the baby was pressing her skull against my tailbone causing really, really awful pain in my lower back with each contraction. It was seriously awful.

It didn’t take long for me to decide that natural childbirth was over-rated and ask for an epidural. It felt a bit like cheating, but I didn’t really care at that point. I was confirmed in my desire for an epidural when they checked me at about 5:30 and I was still only at 4 cm.

The epidural was weird – it did help with the pain, but was not what I’d call comfortable. I managed to sleep for a bit though, so it was worth it. It also seemed to help my labor progress because about an hour and a half after it went in, I was fully dilated and ready to push! They had me hold off on pushing for a bit so she could move a little further down the birth canal, and then told me to go ahead. Lots of people were around for the pushing – including a guy nursing student who was witnessing his first vaginal birth. Everyone was right though, I really didn’t care at all who saw me naked from the waist down after all the time dealing with contractions. I was worried about loss of dignity before, but in the moment, it was the last thing on my mind.

Pushing was an awful feeling (I think I prefer contractions to the feeling from pushing!), but fortunately only lasted 15 minutes. Maria’s heart rate dropped towards the end, so I ended up getting a cut to help get her out as fast as possible.

The moments after she came out are a confused jumble – I had a brief look at her before they whisked her away to get cleaned up and checked on. My first impression of her was that she was really wrinkly – my first words to her were “hello wrinkle face.” Not particularly profound, but honest. I didn’t really experience any kind of elation or really any emotion at all besides relief that it was over. I was kind of detached from the whole thing. They eventually brought her back over to me and we tried nursing – she gave me an awful hicky from latching on improperly and it hurt like crazy, but that is just breast feeding in general I’ve come to find.

The first day was extremely overwhelming. I ended up having a break down in the late morning while one of my sisters and a sister-in-law were both visiting. I felt bad because they had to leave really soon after getting there because I was sobbing and really, really needed a nap. I felt much better after everyone left and I got a couple hours of sleep. The nurses were super nice and understanding and took Maria to the nursery for a bit so I didn’t have to worry about her. I did a lot of crying the first couple of weeks. Adjusting to a baby is not easy turns out!

Breastfeeding was also not easy – I spent what seemed like the majority of my hospital stay with various different lactation consultants pulling on me trying to get Maria to latch on and nurse properly. It was super frustrating and we didn’t ever get her to latch and keep nursing. She would either scream frantically or fall asleep. I ended up pumping and giving her a bottle or giving her formula until our doctor appointment on Friday when the pediatrician introduced me to a brilliant invention called a “nipple shield” which worked wonders, but was also a major pain in the butt since Maria would constantly knock it off and spill milk everywhere. Plus, I had to make sure to wash it after each feeding, which is no fun in the middle of the night. I’m glad we finally figured out nursing without it!

We stayed in the hospital for two days to take full advantage of the nurses and lactation consultants. We were also both exhausted, so we ended up having Maria go to the nursery and only come back to eat (or try to eat) every three hours or so. All of our nurses were super nice – I would recommend our hospital to anyone! We left in the afternoon on Thursday and I got to ride in a wheel chair! I could have walked, but hey, wheelchairs are fun for short rides! Plus, I was still sore so it was nice not to have to walk.

My Mom stayed with us for the first couple days and that really helped with adjusting and getting the house really ready for baby care. It also meant we could sleep a bit better since sleeping with a baby next to your bed is just not very peaceful. It is fine now though; we’re both used to all her noises and can sleep through all but the important waking up noises. The first few weeks were really hard emotionally, I did a lot of random crying and had moments of really wishing for my old life back.

Now, as each day goes by it gets to be more fun and less difficult. She’s started smiling and cooing at us and is alert and happy more often. Now that she can see a little farther, she’s found a friend in her reflection. She will sit in her swing and look up at her reflection in the little mirror and smile and coo at herself. Super cute!