Mixed Feelings

So, pregnancy is rapidly coming to an end and I'm beginning to realize that there actually will come a day when I go into labor and deliver Maria. There's no going back, no putting it off indefinitely, she's coming. I have to admit, there are times when this thought terrifies me more than anything else. However, there are also times when I think that the day can't come soon enough! Some of the thoughts that go through my mind when I think of February 20th (or somewhere around there) include:

Baby! Baby! Baby! (Oh!...heehee)
I'm super excited to finally meet whoever it is that's kicking me in the ribs, getting hiccups and pushing my belly out further and further each week. It will be so wonderful to actually see her and get to hold her! Jonathan and I went to a childbirth class this past weekend and it involved watching some videos of births (more on that later) and one of the women when she started to see her baby come out grabbed the baby's hands and just said "baby" over and over. It was funny, but I think I can kind of understand why.

Baby 101
It'll also be fun (I hope!) to learn how to take care of a baby - kind of like the thought of starting a new semester is exciting but also kind of intimidating. There's an awful lot of things I don't know about babies. I have vague memories of Michael as a baby, but really I didn't do much baby care when I think about it. I helped with diaper changes and holding him, but really not much else. Mom or Dad did the real work and I honestly don't know or remember what the heck that involved!

Dignity, Always Dignity
So, about those birth videos...it does not look like it's much fun (understatement of the century). Right now, I'm blissfully unaware of what labor pains are like. That's going to change and there's nothing I can do about it. Honestly though, what I'm least looking forward to is the complete loss of dignity. I can't imagine why these women wanted to be filmed while in labor and giving birth. I have absolutely no desire for anyone to see me moaning half naked and sweaty in a hospital bed. If it were possible, I'd give birth completely on my own in some dark hidden corner of the world. Oh well, I guess I'll be getting a lesson in humility.

No More School, No More Books, No More Teacher's Dirty Looks!
I am soooo looking forward to the end of work! It's not that I really hate my job, the work itself, although rather boring sometimes, is not unbearable. What I do hate, is being there from 8-5 M-F. I don't mind working, but I do mind being at work! It takes up so much of my time and really is quite silly. I could get much more done if I were rewarded (paid) for completing tasks, rather than for being in a particular place for a set amount of time. That's why I'm looking forward to moving on and being a subcontractor - I will only have to work for as long as the job takes me. Hooray!

So, those are my top thoughts on the end of pregnancy. Now I just have to keep playing the waiting game and hope that she comes more or less on time and that I'm more or less ready for her when she does make her debut.